Dear readers, I posted yesterday asking people to give me a reaction to a short story I was thinking of entering in a competition. It was actually a short play of mine that had been produced quite successfully about a hundred years ago (in the 1980s), and I tried my hand at adapting it as a story. Twenty of you read it or at least started to read it, and no one commented. I’m taking that as an indication that I didn’t pull it off, and that helps me a lot. Thank you. I’m very grateful that I have a way to get valuable input, even when it’s silence.
Interestingly, as I was reading it, I thought it would work better as a play, not a short story. With the conversations, I felt myself wanting to hear the different voices, watch the body language, and see the waitress and patrons at Patsy’s.
Thanks for the comment, Susan. I was afraid that would be a problem. That’s why I didn’t mention that it was an adapted play when I posted it. That’s also why this forum is so good. Most of the people I have around me to give me criticism saw the play. Kind of disqualified them.
Kathleen,
I actually enjoyed reading it…but I got interrupted and forgot to post my comments. I do like it…..
Vicki Standing
It’s so nice to hear from you, Vicki! I hope things are going well for you out there in Utah.
I loved the story. I read it before I read your comments. It reminded me of the Commons.
I especially like the seamless transition from narrative to dialog and back. The diction is on target and the way you define the speaker with the pie — delicious.
If you’re thinking of entering it somewhere, you might consider the Kenyon Review.
You made my holiday.
Penny
Thank you, dear Penny. I’m not surprised that someone as subtle as you would get the subtleties of the piece. My Southwestern friends also liked it. But I think some of the criticisms were spot on, too. I’m going to let it all stew for awhile.
Kathleen, have you considered entering the original one act play and some of the others in contests for playwrights. I remember that there were several that worked together as a whole.
Penny
Kathleen,
My Father was ill over the holidays. Sorry I never got to it.
Sarah
Hi, Sarah. I haven’t been on the site for awhile, so I missed your message. I’m sorry to hear about your father. I hope he’s better now.
Kathleen
thanks, Kathleen. He is great. I go in for a partial mastectomy on Tuesday. Stage Zero. It has been a crazy time. Thanks! Sarah